I first want to say thank you to everyone who decided to take the 31 day challenge with me. Whether you've left your comments on the blog, have emailed me or have done it in silence I appreciate your presence. It's amazing what we find when we dig. It's funny how you can learn that of all the people in the world to come into your life and cause you grief YOU actually cause yourself the most grief of anyone. For me this is true. I allowed myself to be a people pleaser to the point of resenting myself and neglecting myself. You can imagine the look on my face when this realization came to view. It was as if I were receiving new sight! I love me, don't get me wrong. But, I didn't love myself enough to say no to those I should have said no to. I didn't love myself enough to say "it's okay if that person won't like me." I pleased and did things so that someone who should love me anyway (family) would do so.
Why am I telling you this? Because I know I am not alone. I know that there are millions of other beings on this earth who think "If I do this so and so will like/love me." Truth is TRUE love does not require that we please anyone. True love does not hold restrictions nor limitations within it. And when we start to fully love and value ourselves as God does the need to please dissolves and we become free to be who we are. We are able to say with clarity and love that "if I have to bend over backward to receive your acceptance, then your acceptance is no longer needed in my life."
As I've said before I never imagined this 31 day journey would reveal so much. But I am deeply grateful for everything that has been revealed. We are 14 days into this journey and already a bunch of you have shared eye opening moments with me. I pray that our journey will be one filled with peace, joy and an abundance of clarity and freedom. Thank you for spending a little time with me each day. ♥ Tabitha
Today's Intention: I intend to keep digging and finding my freedom and clarity
Today's Kind Act: I'm going to make myself a HUGE fruit smoothie, share it with my daughter and watch Bewitched (my fav show)
Are you a people pleaser? How did you overcome it?
Being a people pleaser, oh how I understand this. I have learned to put myself first most of the time. I want to stop falling back into that.
ReplyDeletelove your day, hugs to you my friend.
caring too much what people think has been my problem which equates to people pleaser...that's been my downfall...
ReplyDeletethe way i overcame(and still overcome)is by continually reminding myself, through god's word and his love for me, that i am of value, and the only one i need to please is him...
thank you for your authenticity...
bev
Nurses are, almost by definition, people pleasers. Yours Truly certainly proved no exception to this rule. I suffered a huge burnout that permanently ended my nursing career. I could never turn down any requests to work overtime; never be assertive enough to insist on those desperately needed days off. Hoping you had a lovely Mother's Day. Wishing you a wonderful weekend!
ReplyDeleteI used to be a huge people pleaser. I have to say individual counseling over the past 10 years has tremendously helped me overcome this.
ReplyDeleteTabitha,
ReplyDeleteAnother post that hits home with me. I actually just started this week to stand up for me--I said no to a situation I just don't think would be good for me---now my mom is so mad at me that she won't talk to me. I feel I did the right thing for me but now I am second guessing myself. I've always done what was expected of me even if I felt it wasn't right for me--I've done whatever it took to keep the peace and keep others happy. Thanks for your blog. I'm really learning so much here.