Yesterday was one of those eye opening days for me. When a mirror is placed before you and you see yourself for who you truly are it can be very uncomfortable. But, at the same time, it can be rewarding. This chance allows you to correct the bad and give thanks for the good. For me two realizations have emerged with these 11 days so far. the first is I have let far too many people walk..no stump upon my heart. The other is I have an issue with FULLY trusting God. Whew! That was hard to type, but I have to stay authentic if I wish to help others and to grow myself. My issue of trust comes from my dad and hubby disappointing me in BIG ways. I sometimes get afraid and give my energy to the past instead of fully trusting that God will be with me no matter what. I do believe He will be, but somebody needs to tell my brain to get on board. I had a dream the other night where a guy (unknown to me) kept telling me how God wants to help me and how much he loves me. I believe with my entire heart that He does, so I've resolved to giving Him more time so that my trust issues may be mended.
As for any living being ever stumping upon my heart this is a day to day process. It kind of goes hand in hand with trusting God, but also it's me now knowing my worth in this life. I am SO worth love, joy, peace, kindness, HONESTY and RESPECT. If they can not give those things they can not be in my life.
Today's Intentions: I intend to walk through this day KNOWING my worth and EMBRACING it.
Today's Kind Act: I'm going to cook, enjoy the quiet of my home and remind myself often of my worth in this life..Of course I'll do all of these things in sincere LOVE.
Tabitha, what a great post. For other reasons I have trust issues with God too. You are definitely not alone. Being honest with yourself is hard to face but necessary if you want to change. I respect your honesty as well as your solutions to embrace yourself. My internal mirror has shown me some things as well. It's not pretty but at least I know what's living there so I can do something about it when the time is right.
ReplyDeleteAs always thanks for taking time to visit me. As far as poetry, why not continue with it? It is an outlet, a chance to write psalms to God and/or moments to unravel your inner woman. I think a memoir could be in your future!
Tabitha,
ReplyDeleteYou are one of the most beautiful and inspiring people I have ever had the privilege to meet. God has designed you to be the amazing wife, and mother that you are. In you, He created a brilliant and beautiful masterpiece worthy of so much in life. Thank you for the honor of getting to know you!
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
Love it! Have you taken Betty's Beauty Pledge? If you have time, check it out! http://bossybetty.blogspot.com/2010/04/bettys-beauty-manifesto.html
ReplyDeleteLove your intention!!!!
Yes, I'm very suspicious, too...been hurt a lot in the past...it's hard to move forward when you still feel the chains upon you from the past...hard for me to admit that I am the one who is dragging the chains along still! Just keep on keepin' on Tabby, that's all we can do!
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