Random Thinking

So, I'm sitting in my bedroom in complete silence thinking.  Oprah suggested that everyone give themselves at least 10 minutes of silence and stillness each day.  I've been doing this, but today it's been very emotional for me.  Some days I am truly on cloud 9 and others I am in the deepest, darkest part of a cave.  I think I now realize why that is.  I have been lying to myself about a few things.  Also I get so low when I hear, read or see troubles of this world.  It's gotten so bad that I have limited my TV watching tremendously. 

For many of you who have been reading my words for awhile now know that I am a truly emotional being.  I am also tremendously bursting from the seams with love for others, but not always for myself.  This weight-loss journey has been the most loving thing I have done for myself in awhile.  Since starting this journey I have grown to love me in the greatest way.  I care about my health, life, mind and body.  I want to live my best life ever.  How will I achieve that?  For now I am going day by day.  I'm trying (to the best of my ability) to fashion myself behind my Heavenly Father.  That only means I'm trying to better everything about me.  I'm not a very forgiving person.  I want to be, but I am not.  I can be impatient and get frustrated when I truly should just chill.  All of this is because I've been lying to myself.  As of tomorrow it all changes.

I started my weight-loss journey on August 24th, so I think it's appropriate to start my "Self-Love Walk" on that same date.  So, starting tomorrow I'm making some internal and external changes.  I'll be sharing what they are here.  Why?  Because putting my words, thoughts and emotions out there is truly helpful to me.  For 3 years now I've been seeking God with great determination.  I also think I should be creating my OWN happiness and learning to deal with the other crap.  So, here I go!