Just Flow

After posting yesterday's blog post I held a very long talk with my professor (he and his wife are also my spiritual counselors and mentors).  I expressed to him my struggle and he asked "have you allowed yourself to be angry?"  I told him no and I explained that I thought that if I were angry with my offender God would be angry with me.  Then he asked "just how do you think God felt when your offender hurt you?"  I hesitantly replied "angry?"  He yelled "exactly!"  Just as you were hurt and angry, so was your Father. 

It's okay to be angry as long as you don't live in it.  So he suggested that I just flow.  What!  What in the hell does that mean?  I asked.  He said "once you have allowed yourself to be angry pick up your mat and move the hell on."  I was startled that he used hell in that sentence, but laughed my butt off at how it sounded coming from him. LOL

What did I learn from our talk?  Life is a process and each day we make choices in our lives.  I could choose to live in confusion or I could allow my feelings to be whatever they are and then flow with life.  When we hold things in or deny ourselves to "feel" we go against the grain, but when we allow those feelings to emerge and we move forward we are flowing in the same direction with life.  I've ridden this bus of hurt for too long now and I am so ready to take back my power!  My offender was selfish and inconsiderate!  But, I will no longer dwell on that fact.  I must now pick up my mat and flow with life.  I must walk with and in love.  It is the best remedy for healing.  Although I still love my offender it has been altered to a different form.  I am truly okay with that.  I no longer fear what they may or may not do.  What matters most is what I "will" do.  And I choose to live my life in a peaceful and joyous manner.  Love surrounds me and everything that is of good now flows with me.

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?

Psalm 118:6