For years I told my grandma "when you die I'm going to come completely undone." I was not the only grandchild who felt this way and was not the only to express it. When I said it she would smile and say "you'll be okay Lu(my nickname)." For years I deeply believed that when my grandma took her last breath I would come undone at the seams. She died in 2008 and I cried every day for the first two months. I was mad and sad and didn't know how to accept it. Then something started to take place deep within my spirit. I began to feel a little stronger. I started seeking God with great gusto. I began to understand why this had to happen. She left on her OWN terms and she did it with great COURAGE. Remembering that uplifted my soul! It made me want to be more like her than ever. I started living each day with the intention that I would make her and God proud of the love and time they have invested into my life. Her death was hard, it was hurtful and it did tear me down. But it also lifted me to a higher level than ever before! Through my Grandma God woke me up to what He needed me to do for him.
For years I've said I'd come undone, but what I've learned is when we lose a loved one for many it begins a metamorphosis. Yes we do come unglued, but then God steps in to glue us back together and make us better than we were before. Fear has a way of blocking God from our vision, but God has a way of shinning through regardless. When he wants our attention He WILL get it! I trust God more now than ever and I now know that whatever fear I have He will see me through. I may very well fall apart at the seams, but he will be there to pick me up, dust me off and carry me through. And you know what? He's ready to do the very same for you. All you have to do is whisper his name. Even if that whisper is just in your heart or head - He will answer.
I hear you Tabitha, and I have experienced that myself...falling apart at the seems and god making me into a better version of myself ..like a shattered clay pot into an urn.
ReplyDeleteSo very true, it is amazing how we change through this especially if we let God in...my brother just seems to be angry since my Dad passed, I know every one has a grieving process, I just wish he would remember the good and not focus on the bad. hugs.
ReplyDeletethis was so encouraging. It is beautiful what you were able to learn and take from it.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully expressed and so well said. You are so wise. I still dream of my Grandmother. She died over thirty years ago. Thank you for your spiritual strength and your generosity to share.
ReplyDeleteSo true and so beautiful. Your faith warms me.
ReplyDeletexo